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Java is Dead

Date: 13 Nov 1995 14:01:55 -0600
From: (Felix Sebastian Gallo)
Subject: Java is dead (was Re: Java ?ber Alles?)
References: news or local

Tom Christiansen <> wrote:

[...] tools and programming languages like Python, BASIC (particularly the ubiquitous Visual BASIC environment), REXX, and even the lowly Bourne shell and its still less respectable brethren aren't likely to be on their way out the door even for WWW
applications any time Real Soon Now.

Tom, you're being far too gentle and defensive. You've seen Mr. Beattie's work, so surely you know as well as anyone that it is in fact Java which has a limited lifespan and should be discreetly tucked away into the dormers of the Internet like a mad, fretting aunt.

But since we're talking about necrolingua, we might as well bring it out into the open: pgpsafeperl makes java look faintly silly -- and LPSP (limited pgpsafeperl) makes the comparison into a flat out rout. The proud, glinting banners of Sun are toppled into the dust and cunningly fashioned into clothes for puppets which are used to reenact the shame and humiliation involved in designing a language which needs a pre-run verification pass.

For those of you who don't know, pgpsafeperl allows you to download code off the net (sound familiar?), verify both its sender and its creator, assign the code an arbitrary set of execution constraints based on the sender/creator, and then execute it in a trusted compartment. LPSP goes a step further by rlimiting the compartment to provide even further security against runaway or aggressor programs. Both provide the code with a full list of its allowances and proscriptions through a very simple but completely informative API. The wall of security is hard, provided by the environment and the operating system, not soft, like algorithmic verification.

And, instead of writing stuff which looks like C, you get to write perl. As an extra special bonus, you can avoid learning yet another API -- you can use limited safetkpgpperl if you need to draw pretty pictures.

So sorry, no pictures at 11.

Pshaw, the pictures are at 11, and it's 10:59:59 in the java timezone. Wait until everyone wakes up and realizes they're being asked to program in intercal.


I especially don't speak for Mssrs. Beattie, Wall or Christiansen; hubris is mine alone. :)