by Howard Partner <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Are you confused by the constant proliferation of new Macintosh models? Worse yet, do you suffer from Mac Envy, when three weeks after you get your new Mac a new model appears offering twice the features at half the price?
Your frustrations will be gone forever when you become a member of the Mac of the Month Club. Each month you will be sent the latest Mac model computer, printer, digital camera, or whatever! Try it out at your leisure. If you like it, keep it. If not, just return it. You simply agree to purchase just three Macintosh computers, printers, digital cameras, or scanners each year! We will automatically bill your MasterCard, Visa, American Express, or parents.
To start off your subscription as a charter member of the Mac of the Month Club, choose three of these great Macintosh classics for just $9.99:
The Mac Plus -- It comes complete with floppy drive, System 4.2, MacPaint, MacDraw, MacWrite, and QuickDex! Won't this tan beauty look great alongside your 8-track player and rotary telephone!
The ImageWriter -- Shipped to you complete with 42 yards of perforated computer paper. Leave your ImageWriter turned on and printing when you leave home or office. Burglars will think you're having a class reunion inside and steer clear! [Editor's note: Apple only recommends use of the ImageWriter as a home security device for trips under two weeks - in that time the ImageWriter will either finish the document or jam, thus eliminating its utility as a security device. -Adam]
Floppies Galore -- Two thousand pre-formatted 400K MFS floppy disks. They make great party coasters, mini-frisbees, or bathroom tiles!
Graphics Extravaganza! SuperPaint 1.0, FullPaint, Canvas 1.0, and PageMaker 1.0. Relive the days of the Desktop Publishing Revolution just like the early pioneers, in the comfort of your own home or office.
ThunderScan -- It's the scanner that pops into your ImageWriter just like a ribbon cartridge. Your kids will spend days spellbound by the sight of your stock certificates, magazine photos, and old love letters coming into view on your computer screen. You'll be surprised and thrilled each time you turn on your computer and view these items as startup screens.
Send in your application today to the Mac of the Month Club. Membership is not available to residents of Cuba, certain Middle Eastern principalities, or planets currently at perihelion. A small charge for shipping and handling will be applied to all orders.