School Health Education to Prevent AIDS and Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD) : Teachers' Guide (UNESCO - WHO, 1994, 117 p.): Unit 2. Responsible behaviour: delaying sex: 17 Dealing with threats and violence

School Health Education to Prevent AIDS and Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD) : Teachers' Guide (UNESCO - WHO, 1994, 117 p.)

Unit 2. Responsible behaviour: delaying sex

		(introduction...)
		1 Reasons to say NO - Reasons for delaying sex
		2 To delay or not to delay (a, b) - Case Study - Reasons for and against sex
		3 “Lines” and more “lines” - Pressure to have sex
		4 Guidelines: help to delay sex - Help for delaying sex
		5 What to do? - Case studies on sex for delaying sex
		6 Affection without sex? - Alternatives to sexual intercourse
		7 What’s next? - Ranking physical activities
		8 Am I assertive? - Definition of passive, aggressive, and assertive behaviours
		9 Who’s assertive? - Case studies - types of behaviours
		10 Assertive messages - Four steps to assertive behaviour
		11 Your assertive message (class) - Four steps to assertive behaviour
		12 Your assertive message (individual) - Four steps to assertive behaviour
		13 Responding to persuasion (demonstration) - How to refuse, delay, bargain
		14 Responding to persuasion (class activity) - How to refuse, delay, bargain
		15 Responding to persuasion (individual) - How to refuse, delay, bargain
		16 You decide - Activity on gender differences
		17 Dealing with threats and violence - Case study on violence in dating
		18 Being assertive every day - Take-home activity on being assertive

17 Dealing with threats and violence - Case study on violence in dating

Purpose

Women, particularly, need to be aware of situations that may lead to violent sex and of people who may put them in those situations. They also need to learn ways of avoiding or dealing with pressures and threats to have sex.

What the teacher does

1. Decide how to teach this activity:

a) Provide each student with an activity sheet and have them work individually, in pairs or in small groups.
b) Read the story to the students and ask the questions under “Teacher asks.”
c) Form small groups and provide each group with one activity sheet to use for discussion.

2. Discuss the questions with the students. Possible answers are suggested below.

1) Do you think that Maria could have been aware of what was going to happen? What were the clues that could have told her?
Yes. Walking alone on a possibly deserted country road; Carlos flirting and talking about sex; going into an abandoned house; touching her.
2) Maria was silent and embarrassed when Carlos started talking about sex. What could she have done instead of being silent and embarrassed?
She probably should have been assertive and told him that she did not like what he was doing and that she was going home.
3) What should she do now? Keep it a secret? Tell someone she trusts (parents, teachers, religious leader)? Should she talk to Carlos about the matter? What might happen if she doesn’t tell anyone about the situation?
She has to make her own decision but generally it is a good idea to talk to someone she trusts. Whether she should tell the police and/or go to a hospital should be discussed with that person. She should arrange to be tested for STD/HIV (and pregnancy if necessary). It is not likely that anything can be accomplished by talking to Carlos. She may feel unnecessarily ashamed, lonely and worried if she doesn’t tell anyone.
4) List things you can do to help prevent violence and threats:
a. When you’re with someone who suggests having sex and you don’t want to.
Be assertive and tell the person in a firm manner that you are not interested. Leave with a friend. If possible, move to where there are other people. Phone someone if phones are available.
b. When someone becomes physical and tries to force you to have sex.
Scream; fight; kick in the testicles only if you can get away quickly; delay; bargain depending on the situation (if your life is threatened or a weapon is being used). Be very assertive.
5) What do you think about Carlos? Are there other men like Carlos? What should he have done in this situation? Why did he do what he did?
Responses will vary. If at all in doubt, he should not have tried to have sex. He did what he did because: he lacked respect for women and abused his physical power over Maria; he had a common male attitude that “no” doesn’t really mean “no”; and perhaps because she agreed to go for a walk alone with him in the country.