|Where Women Have No Doctor - A Health Guide for Women (Hesperian Foundation, 1997, 600 p.)|
|Chapter 12: Sexual Health|
|Sex and Gender Roles|
Fulfilling the roles expected by the community can be satisfying and can give a woman a sense of belonging. But these roles can also limit a womans activities and choices, and make her feel less valued than a man. When this happens, everyone - the woman herself, her family, and her community - suffers.
In most communities, women are expected to be wives and mothers. Many women like this role because it can be very satisfying and it gives them status in the community. Other women would prefer to follow their own interests - , or they want to have only a few children - but their families and communities do not give them this choice. If she is expected to have many children, a woman may have less chance to learn new skills or go to school. Most of her time and energy will be spent taking care of others needs. Or, if a woman is unable to have children, her community may value her less than other women.
Most communities value mens work more than womens work. For example, this woman has worked all day - and then cooks, cleans, and cares for her children at night. But because her husbands work is considered more important, _ she is concerned about his rest - not her own. Her children will grow up thinking mens work is more important, and value women less.
Women are often considered more emotional than men, and they are free to express these emotions with others. Men, however, are often taught that showing emotions like sadness or tenderness is unmanly, so they hide their feelings. Or they express their feelings in angry or violent ways that are more acceptable for men. When men are unable to show their feelings, children may feel more distant from their fathers, and men are less able to get support from others for their problems.
Women are often discouraged from speaking - or forbidden to attend or speak - at community meetings. This means the community only hears about what men think - for example, how they view a problem and their solutions for it. Since women have much knowledge and experience, the whole community suffers when they cannot discuss problems and offer suggestions for change.
Women and men who have sexual relations with people of the same sex (homosexuals) are sometimes made to feel like outcasts in their own communities. Even if they are community leaders in other ways, they may be forced to live and love in secrecy and shame. In some communities, fear or lack of understanding of people in same sex relationships may even lead to physical violence against them. Any time a person is made to feel afraid or ashamed about who he or she is, it harms the persons mental and sexual health.